“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”

Above quote is from Ovid, a Roman poet from waaaaay back in the day who definitely knew what he was talking about. He wrote a lot of love (and all things encompassing it) and transformation. Ever read The Erotic Poems? There's a man who has a way with words :)




My summer is already half over.

Who can believe that it's only the middle of June but there's already only half of a summer left before I'm forced back into the jaws of an everyday work schedule, one that I know for sure will make me get up before 10am. I'm being a bit dramatic, but it's still a hard pill to swallow that soon I won't be able to wake up, lie in bed reading and chatting with friends on the phone, before finally crawling out to see what it looks like outside and start my day. Soon I'll be fueled by coffee (plenty of sugar with a hit of cream), bagels with cream cheese, and covert text messages with my coworkers across the room. [Uhhh, I mean, sit and pay attention to every little word that's said?]

The amazing thing is that despite all the fun that I've already had, the second half of my summer is actually the best part. Most of the excitement is soon to come and so I shouldn't feel pissed that I haven't been working on my tan as frequently as I'd like because I'm going to have plenty of time (and in the best locales) to do that very soon. I shouldn't think of summer as half over, but rather think that the slow and steady warm-up has now completed and is prepared to yield to the upbeat and fast paced cardio that's yet to come. (I must provide this peptalk to myself, if not to those others out there who might also be experiencing this downtrodden view of life.)

One of the more surprising things about this summer has been my lack of desire to work. While I'm not required to do anything work related I told myself that I'd definitely putter about in my office working on things for next year's staff and getting things ready for training. I was SURE that I would want to be creating things on Microsoft Publisher, reading up on some material, and putting some plans into place for programming. I've probably stepped into my office about 5 times in the last month, each time either dropping off something that found its way to me that I don't need to worry about until July or retrieving something that was left in there that I need (like a favorite pen, or perhaps a picture frame). My travels will take me away from my life here for the next few weeks, proving that I was delusional upon thinking I would be proactive when I was obviously too lazy to way a few feet down the hall to my desk. I guess the idea of relaxation was just too much for the idea of working ahead to handle :)

Tiiiiiiiime is on my side, yes it is.

One of my summer experiments is attempting to swear off my watch. I’m one of those people that is hyper organized and conscious of where I’m supposed to be at what moment of every day. During the school year I am always near my planner and my Outlook calendar, constantly updating both with events from my work and personal lives. I’m trying to relax and enjoy this summer as much as possible and for me this means trying to stay relatively unscheduled and carefree. While I obviously have to plan out all my trips to here and there, the one way that I can really try and do this is by not wearing my watch.

This is not easy. I’m not sure at what age I started wearing a watch every day, but it was long enough ago that I can’t remember not being able to look at my wrist to see the time. I’ve become so dependent on it that I often freak out when I don’t know what time it is and get uneasy in places where there aren’t enough clocks (at least by my standards). I used to have cheap watches because I was so hard on them; constantly banging them against things and such. I spent so much money replacing them every few months that I decided to invest in something a bit more sturdy, and it’s been well worth it. Every few years I get a new one just because I find something very fun that I like – but every one that I own (once its battery has been replaced) still works, including one that had to be revived by a very nice jewelry store man who could see the absolute pain on my face when he couldn’t get it started again.

At first not having the watch was weird. I was constantly looking at my cell phone to see what time it was, searching out clocks in public places, etc. More quickly than I imagined, I started liking the feeling of having nothing on my wrist. I finally had to do a semi-professional event a few weeks ago and put it back on, thinking that if nothing else it might help jumpstart me back into the feeling of working, if only for a day. I was surprised to find that I didn’t like the feeling of it anymore – I didn’t like the grip of it on my wrist, didn’t like feeling its weight on my arm. I was glad to take it off at the end of the day and return to my summer world where time doesn’t matter….much.

Deep down I know that this doesn’t mean I’ll never put one on again. I think it’s sort of like having to wear “real shoes” with socks for the first time when it starts getting cold again – you hate the feeling of it and you feel suffocated at first, but it just feels right after the first few times. My crazy organized self will return when needed, but for now she’s been safely repressed to the deep corners of my brain.

"Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language."

Quote from Henry James, a 19th century American-turned-British author who I would say is probably most well known for The Portrait of a Lady, but he also wrote The American and The Europeans which might be of equal familiarity. Regardless as to how you know him, no one can deny that he definitely knew what he was talking about with summer.



Oh the lazy days of summer. I have rediscovered the joy of never setting an alarm, laying on the couch all day long, and feeling like I have the power to do anything I want. It's amazing.....mostly.

You might ask why, after so many posts over the year of looking forward to a summer off and free from responsibility I have suddenly declared that it's not completely satisfying. Well folks, I'm bored. It's only been 2 weeks, but I'm already bored with doing nothing. Now, I realize that I'm blessed with a life right now that most people would be dying to live, but my always-busy-go-go-go lifestyle has taken over and I seem to forget how to really enjoy being stagnant. Some days I am content to do nothing and other days I feel like if I don't have some sort of a project to work on I might just lose my mind. Truth be told, I haven't been bored enough to go into my office and work on things for next year, but I've thought about it and the idea gets more tantalizing with each hour that passes.

I won't be doomed to a summer of sitting in my apartment day in and day out with nothing going on. Most of my summer will actually be spent jet-setting from one place to another, it's just getting through this first part that's turned out to be....well, a bitch. I have even contemplated going on a random roadtrip to a state I've never been before because #1, I've never been and it's closer to me now than it was before, making it a much more realistic possibility; #2, I enjoy random roadtrips and I actually enjoy being alone so doing it by myself doesn't bother me; #3, I can be pretty random about life and this just seems to fit with me perfectly. The things that stop me include the fact that gas is ridiculously expensive, the weather is making me sluggish, and I can only imagine what people would say if they knew that I preferred to do this alone rather than trying to convince people to go with me.

Instead (at least for the time being) I will sit and daydream about what the rest of my summer will look like. I'm cramming in a whole lot of fun in a small amount of time, and I've been presented with the possibility of including even MORE fun in my summer - I've been invited to visit a friend whom I haven't seen in many years, a friend who lives in an incredibly fun place I've never been. The responsible side of me tells me to not try and push my luck with more trips and entertainment, but the reckless kid inside says that I'm an idiot to pass this up. I'll let the mental battle continue while I lay on the couch eating bon-bons and thinking fondly of all of you out there who still sit in your offices, hard at work :)

The Beginning of the End, Part Two

It's officially all done - I've completed my first year as a new professional. All of the students are gone, my paperwork is complete, and there's an overwhelming calming feeling that's come over me. As I walk the halls and look at the plain doors I think about the students that used to live there, and how next year will bring a brand new crew into the building. As much as I complained at times about the noise and the immaturity, they were a good group. We survived without any major issues (to my utter delight, although this convinces me that next year will be horrid), my staff all bonded and became friends with one another (no mutiny occurred!), and I learned an entire new University system in a whole new place.

Through the year I've learned a few pearls of wisdom that should be passed along to those of you who have just completed your degrees and are anxious to get started with a new job:
- Change can be incredibly difficult to handle, but try to remain open minded and you'll be surprised at who you'll meet and what you'll learn.
- Students will constantly try and test you, especially when they think that you're ALSO a student and will therefore let them do what they want.
- Being a new supervisor is a HUGE challenge. Realize that with supervision comes delegation - you no longer have to do everything yourself. Trust in your staff and you will learn right along with them. Be prepared to work with a staff that might be completely different from who you are. Inheriting a staff means that someone who was quite possibly VERY different from you made the hiring decisions. Some staff members will challenge you because they want to show the new guy or girl everything they know, others will just want to show off their leadership abilities and not really know how. Accept this advice/guidance with a grain of salt and know that ultimately what YOU decide is what matters - you are still their boss in the end.
- Maintaining work/life balance is much easier when you don't have school thrown in there as well. Also helpful is having colleagues who are willing to put you in check when necessary. You will lose your mind if you don't take some time for yourself.
- On that same note, try and make friends with coworkers - especially those that have been there for a year or more. They will help show you the ropes of work and also know all the best student-free spots to frequent in town.
- Become involved in your department. Show that you can be a leader in whatever way you can. Form relationships with your superiors that will help you grow as a professional and develop new mentors.
- Try and get to know the graduate students in your department and help them when you can. Realize that there may be a difference between your program and theirs, but in the end you will both be in student affairs and are doing the same job.
- Never underestimate the power of swearing in front of students. It sounds ridiculous, but by showing that you're a "real" person students will actually start to respect you a bit more. Being able to throw around "asshole" and "shit" can give you some street cred that you'll gain no other way.

In the next few months I plan on worrying about no one but myself (a feeling that's escaped me since AUGUST) and loosening the connection that I have with my cell phone (I actually have the ability to turn my phone off now, or leaving it on silent ALL DAY). I want to enjoy a student-free town, take some random vacation trips, and return ready to have a fantastic year and feel energized.

I keep thinking back over the year and trying to identify what I learned about being a professional that was surprising to me, but I can't really think of anything. Maybe it's because I came from a very hands-on, practical based grad program (in contrast from the many theory-based programs that exist) and my careful observation of those that I worked for/with during my time as a student, but I didn't find it very difficult to try and get used to being a full-time employee; work just replaced the time that I had been spending being a student. In some ways it was EASIER than grad life, if only because I had my weekends free and didn't have to worry about juggling my assistantship, class, a second job, and my personal life. The hardest thing for me to get used to was being in residence life again. I still haven't decided if this is the aspect of student affairs that I should make my career in, but I know that I have the personality for it and the dedication.

The rejuventation process of the summer has already started. I find myself going out more, watching tv a whole lot more, and actually paying attention the cleanliness (or lack of it) in my apartment. I'll say goodbye to friends, start making new ones, and prepare for year number two. With any luck by the time training starts again I will have found my new place within the department, and a new motivation to work in student affairs.

The Beginning of the End, Part One

Silence.

I sit on my couch and there is overall silence in the building. Stage One of move-out is complete, and tomorrow the remaining folks will pack up and head out. I've taken the "you don't have to go home but you can't stay here" approach this whole week. I've done quiet rejoicing as students left, in my head I've jumped up and down as keys were returned.....and now that I'm here I'm not quite sure how I feel.

I walked through the building today and saw so many empty rooms. The hallways are still, with only the tiny noises of movement from random residents breaking through. I am thankful for an end to the year and to the worry, but with all of that comes the sadness to say goodbye.

My staff ambushed me with a card and gift yesterday, prompting me to immediately start to cry, the first time they've seen that happen. Then as they've left, I've cried again - sometimes full out crying as I hug them, sometimes just tearing up, sometimes waiting until they go to really let it all come out. My very first staff for my very first year as a professional, and now it's all over.

I am anxious to finish my paperwork and get my summer underway.....anxious to shut the cover on this year and know that I made it. But with this excitement comes that constant tug of melancholy, knowing that it won't ever be the same.

"But fate ordains that dearest friends must part."

Quote from Edward Young, an English poet from the 1700s. He is most known for Night Thoughts, a poem that I'll admit I've never read, but he did a great many other works as well. His quote is completely true and fitting for today.



What do you do when your coworker who has been your professional listening post and confidante decides to leave the position?

One of my downfalls (as I see it right now) is that I tend to form very important connections with people. When I meet someone that I click with it happens quickly and with ease, usually deepening before I have any control over it and I have a new friend overnight. A bond is formed and suddenly it's impossible to think about how I could have survived without this person.

The upside is that I end up with excellent friends that I am very intertwined with. They are usually fiercely loyal (as am I) and people that witness all sides of my personality and emotions.

The downside is that they are incredibly difficult to say goodbye to. I end up feeling like a part of me is being left with them, and the emotional pain I experience is awful.

So what happens when the person you've worked closely with for 9 months, shared good times and bad, and really become friends with decides to pursue other opportunities? I didn't realize that the natural turnover of residence life positions would feel like this, that I would become too close with people and stop thinking about how any of us could decide to leave by the end of the year. Perhaps I'm not cut out for residence life because of the connections that I make with people - or maybe that's part of the reason why it comes so naturally to me.

The connection that I've made with my staff hasn't been as strong as I thought it would be. Part of this is because they're my first staff, and while I'll always remember them, I was hesitant to reveal my personality to them. Despite that, when I say goodbye to them next week it will make me cry (just as I'm crying as I write this because I'm obviously just a mess at this point). As I watch my residents leave I will be satisfied and happy that the year is over, but I will be sad to know that they won't be returning to my building next year. Yes, I've helped develop them into (hopefully) mature rising sophomores who will have fond memories of their first year of college but I'm selfish and would like to continue to watch them grow.

Ugh. No one told me that the end of the year would feel like this.

"In summer, the song sings itself."

Quote from William Carlos Williams, an American poet. He's most famous for his poem "The Red Wheelbarrow" but he did a lot of good poetry.



We are almost at the end.

My staff has held their closing meetings. We're planning the check-out schedule. I've finished spring evaluations. I've met with my staff for next year. Within a few weeks the students will be gone. It's all finally coming full circle.

I find myself being the 'Rookie of the Year' (as my dad put it) and seeing incredible successes where ever I look. I am no longer intimidated by these students and my staff and it finally feels like I am considerably older than them, even if considerably is defined occasionally as only a few years. Next year I will be the leader of my section of campus, being the only full-time returning staff member. What used to frighten me now intrigues me and I can't wait to see what sorts of things will happen in 09-10.

With the nice weather and end of the year approaching the students have increasingly lost their minds. My building is loud all the time, students are outside playing ball, laying out, and acting like idiots, and you can tell that students are prowling around for their end-of-the-year fling. I can't say that I blame them and that I didn't do the same thing when I was their age, but can't they make sure they don't get in trouble in the process?