Quote from Edward Young, an English poet from the 1700s. He is most known for Night Thoughts, a poem that I'll admit I've never read, but he did a great many other works as well. His quote is completely true and fitting for today.
What do you do when your coworker who has been your professional listening post and confidante decides to leave the position?
One of my downfalls (as I see it right now) is that I tend to form very important connections with people. When I meet someone that I click with it happens quickly and with ease, usually deepening before I have any control over it and I have a new friend overnight. A bond is formed and suddenly it's impossible to think about how I could have survived without this person.
The upside is that I end up with excellent friends that I am very intertwined with. They are usually fiercely loyal (as am I) and people that witness all sides of my personality and emotions.
The downside is that they are incredibly difficult to say goodbye to. I end up feeling like a part of me is being left with them, and the emotional pain I experience is awful.
So what happens when the person you've worked closely with for 9 months, shared good times and bad, and really become friends with decides to pursue other opportunities? I didn't realize that the natural turnover of residence life positions would feel like this, that I would become too close with people and stop thinking about how any of us could decide to leave by the end of the year. Perhaps I'm not cut out for residence life because of the connections that I make with people - or maybe that's part of the reason why it comes so naturally to me.
The connection that I've made with my staff hasn't been as strong as I thought it would be. Part of this is because they're my first staff, and while I'll always remember them, I was hesitant to reveal my personality to them. Despite that, when I say goodbye to them next week it will make me cry (just as I'm crying as I write this because I'm obviously just a mess at this point). As I watch my residents leave I will be satisfied and happy that the year is over, but I will be sad to know that they won't be returning to my building next year. Yes, I've helped develop them into (hopefully) mature rising sophomores who will have fond memories of their first year of college but I'm selfish and would like to continue to watch them grow.
Ugh. No one told me that the end of the year would feel like this.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
"In summer, the song sings itself."
Quote from William Carlos Williams, an American poet. He's most famous for his poem "The Red Wheelbarrow" but he did a lot of good poetry.
We are almost at the end.
My staff has held their closing meetings. We're planning the check-out schedule. I've finished spring evaluations. I've met with my staff for next year. Within a few weeks the students will be gone. It's all finally coming full circle.
I find myself being the 'Rookie of the Year' (as my dad put it) and seeing incredible successes where ever I look. I am no longer intimidated by these students and my staff and it finally feels like I am considerably older than them, even if considerably is defined occasionally as only a few years. Next year I will be the leader of my section of campus, being the only full-time returning staff member. What used to frighten me now intrigues me and I can't wait to see what sorts of things will happen in 09-10.
With the nice weather and end of the year approaching the students have increasingly lost their minds. My building is loud all the time, students are outside playing ball, laying out, and acting like idiots, and you can tell that students are prowling around for their end-of-the-year fling. I can't say that I blame them and that I didn't do the same thing when I was their age, but can't they make sure they don't get in trouble in the process?
We are almost at the end.
My staff has held their closing meetings. We're planning the check-out schedule. I've finished spring evaluations. I've met with my staff for next year. Within a few weeks the students will be gone. It's all finally coming full circle.
I find myself being the 'Rookie of the Year' (as my dad put it) and seeing incredible successes where ever I look. I am no longer intimidated by these students and my staff and it finally feels like I am considerably older than them, even if considerably is defined occasionally as only a few years. Next year I will be the leader of my section of campus, being the only full-time returning staff member. What used to frighten me now intrigues me and I can't wait to see what sorts of things will happen in 09-10.
With the nice weather and end of the year approaching the students have increasingly lost their minds. My building is loud all the time, students are outside playing ball, laying out, and acting like idiots, and you can tell that students are prowling around for their end-of-the-year fling. I can't say that I blame them and that I didn't do the same thing when I was their age, but can't they make sure they don't get in trouble in the process?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
"The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to."
Quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald, an American author who is considered one of the greatest of the twentieth century. Most famous for The Great Gatsby. If you haven't read it, you should.
I am annoyed that I fell asleep on my couch ridiculously early and hauled myself to bed, only to wake up a few hours later and feel like it's morning, unable to go back to sleep. When's the last time I saw the hours of 1 and 2am for reasons that were not because I was out with friends? My plan to go to bed early and wake up early is now going to be seriously foiled because of my current insomnia. The positive is that I always have friends who are night-owls, mainly because in my younger days I used to be one. One of my old friends (we'll call him Jack) from my grad school days is still awake, as I figured, and is happily chatting to me online since neither one of us seem to be heading to bed soon. Jack's also really musically talented, and the benefit of this conversation is that I'm also going to get to hear some of stuff he's currently messing around with. A win on all parts.
Professional life has been busy with to-do lists. I have many going simultaneously, and it's fun to try and juggle between my worlds. Mostly I am working on completing things for closing and getting all the important documents squared away, but I also have those things I need to get done for my building and my staff, and my ever-growing personal to-do list (it's usually reminding me to change my shower curtain liner and I usually just ignore it). The end of the year is so near that I can taste it. How everything can be winding down already is beyond me, but it's happening whether I'm ready or not.
The end of the year is also bringing some major professional life changes. I'm watching a few more friends/colleagues than I initially thought leave our department in search of a better fit and/or better opportunities. It's hard to deal with, especially since I formed close friendships with a few people and excellent working relationships with other. Next year will definintely take some getting used to.
Meanwhile I press forward with summer plans.....and by that, I mean trying to come up with some. I'll definitely visit one of my close friends from grad school, spend some time back at home, hang out here and enjoy the peace. I made the decision awhile ago not to work this summer, and while my credit cards might wish that I was making some extra loot, my sanity is quite glad for the time off.
Random tidbit of the week.....I recently looked into a position that wasn't in higher ed that I think I would really love to do. I've thought about doing this type of thing before, but then settled on going to grad school and it was really only a fleeting thought. While I don't have intentions on applying now since I've committed to returning to my job next year, I will admit that the thought crossed my mind. And now I'm starting to wonder what else is out there beyond the higher ed realm that might interest me. That doesn't mean that I'm throwing in the towel with this profession.....it just means that I'm curious how else I can use this degree. We shall see.
I am annoyed that I fell asleep on my couch ridiculously early and hauled myself to bed, only to wake up a few hours later and feel like it's morning, unable to go back to sleep. When's the last time I saw the hours of 1 and 2am for reasons that were not because I was out with friends? My plan to go to bed early and wake up early is now going to be seriously foiled because of my current insomnia. The positive is that I always have friends who are night-owls, mainly because in my younger days I used to be one. One of my old friends (we'll call him Jack) from my grad school days is still awake, as I figured, and is happily chatting to me online since neither one of us seem to be heading to bed soon. Jack's also really musically talented, and the benefit of this conversation is that I'm also going to get to hear some of stuff he's currently messing around with. A win on all parts.
Professional life has been busy with to-do lists. I have many going simultaneously, and it's fun to try and juggle between my worlds. Mostly I am working on completing things for closing and getting all the important documents squared away, but I also have those things I need to get done for my building and my staff, and my ever-growing personal to-do list (it's usually reminding me to change my shower curtain liner and I usually just ignore it). The end of the year is so near that I can taste it. How everything can be winding down already is beyond me, but it's happening whether I'm ready or not.
The end of the year is also bringing some major professional life changes. I'm watching a few more friends/colleagues than I initially thought leave our department in search of a better fit and/or better opportunities. It's hard to deal with, especially since I formed close friendships with a few people and excellent working relationships with other. Next year will definintely take some getting used to.
Meanwhile I press forward with summer plans.....and by that, I mean trying to come up with some. I'll definitely visit one of my close friends from grad school, spend some time back at home, hang out here and enjoy the peace. I made the decision awhile ago not to work this summer, and while my credit cards might wish that I was making some extra loot, my sanity is quite glad for the time off.
Random tidbit of the week.....I recently looked into a position that wasn't in higher ed that I think I would really love to do. I've thought about doing this type of thing before, but then settled on going to grad school and it was really only a fleeting thought. While I don't have intentions on applying now since I've committed to returning to my job next year, I will admit that the thought crossed my mind. And now I'm starting to wonder what else is out there beyond the higher ed realm that might interest me. That doesn't mean that I'm throwing in the towel with this profession.....it just means that I'm curious how else I can use this degree. We shall see.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
ACPA Wrap-Up
The idea of posting during the conference definitely did not work out as planned. ACPA was one big huge glob of events and sessions that was over before I really stomached that it started. My thoughts about this year.....
It was definitely great to get to experience the sessions at the conference and not worry about placement. I stepped into placement once, for about a minute while I was looking for someone, and then immediately left. I was not ready to handle the measurable level of stress in that room. The sessions that I went too were mostly good; I really started thinking about a few different topics through what I learned and I got excited about a few things. Some sessions were really bad, and I was generally disappointed by how many good sessions (at least in my opinion) were stacked on top of one another.
The social aspect of the conference was amazing. My old grad school friends were there and it was great to reconnect with people and see how they're doing a year later. I met lots of new people (yay for networking!) and had what was undoubtedly WAY too much fun. What you don't know until you go is that the OTHER side of ACPA is all about socializing to the max. I got swept up into that world and here I find myself wanting to be back there. It's incredibly euphoric to be able to absolutely have fun in a new place and not worry about your staff and your building and how you're getting home (because you're either in the hotel you're staying in or right down the street).
The downside to everything is that you come back feeling incredibly wiped out. I am finally feeling a bit more normal and like I've caught up on sleep (because at ACPA you always sleep much less than you do normally - there's just too much fun to be had!). It's a hard reality to face when you walk into your office and see piles of things on your desk and a full mailbox (both in real life and the virtual world). The post-conference snap back to reality is a little too much to bear at times, and leaves you counting down the days until you get to go back.
But the best part is that my building survived! My staff had a handle on everything and nothing occurred that was beyond all repair. All my worry was for nothing, as I came back to normalcy. Spring semester moves on as I plan out closing the building and start thinking about what I want to do special for my staff before the year comes to close....
It was definitely great to get to experience the sessions at the conference and not worry about placement. I stepped into placement once, for about a minute while I was looking for someone, and then immediately left. I was not ready to handle the measurable level of stress in that room. The sessions that I went too were mostly good; I really started thinking about a few different topics through what I learned and I got excited about a few things. Some sessions were really bad, and I was generally disappointed by how many good sessions (at least in my opinion) were stacked on top of one another.
The social aspect of the conference was amazing. My old grad school friends were there and it was great to reconnect with people and see how they're doing a year later. I met lots of new people (yay for networking!) and had what was undoubtedly WAY too much fun. What you don't know until you go is that the OTHER side of ACPA is all about socializing to the max. I got swept up into that world and here I find myself wanting to be back there. It's incredibly euphoric to be able to absolutely have fun in a new place and not worry about your staff and your building and how you're getting home (because you're either in the hotel you're staying in or right down the street).
The downside to everything is that you come back feeling incredibly wiped out. I am finally feeling a bit more normal and like I've caught up on sleep (because at ACPA you always sleep much less than you do normally - there's just too much fun to be had!). It's a hard reality to face when you walk into your office and see piles of things on your desk and a full mailbox (both in real life and the virtual world). The post-conference snap back to reality is a little too much to bear at times, and leaves you counting down the days until you get to go back.
But the best part is that my building survived! My staff had a handle on everything and nothing occurred that was beyond all repair. All my worry was for nothing, as I came back to normalcy. Spring semester moves on as I plan out closing the building and start thinking about what I want to do special for my staff before the year comes to close....
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