“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”

Above quote is from Ovid, a Roman poet from waaaaay back in the day who definitely knew what he was talking about. He wrote a lot of love (and all things encompassing it) and transformation. Ever read The Erotic Poems? There's a man who has a way with words :)




My summer is already half over.

Who can believe that it's only the middle of June but there's already only half of a summer left before I'm forced back into the jaws of an everyday work schedule, one that I know for sure will make me get up before 10am. I'm being a bit dramatic, but it's still a hard pill to swallow that soon I won't be able to wake up, lie in bed reading and chatting with friends on the phone, before finally crawling out to see what it looks like outside and start my day. Soon I'll be fueled by coffee (plenty of sugar with a hit of cream), bagels with cream cheese, and covert text messages with my coworkers across the room. [Uhhh, I mean, sit and pay attention to every little word that's said?]

The amazing thing is that despite all the fun that I've already had, the second half of my summer is actually the best part. Most of the excitement is soon to come and so I shouldn't feel pissed that I haven't been working on my tan as frequently as I'd like because I'm going to have plenty of time (and in the best locales) to do that very soon. I shouldn't think of summer as half over, but rather think that the slow and steady warm-up has now completed and is prepared to yield to the upbeat and fast paced cardio that's yet to come. (I must provide this peptalk to myself, if not to those others out there who might also be experiencing this downtrodden view of life.)

One of the more surprising things about this summer has been my lack of desire to work. While I'm not required to do anything work related I told myself that I'd definitely putter about in my office working on things for next year's staff and getting things ready for training. I was SURE that I would want to be creating things on Microsoft Publisher, reading up on some material, and putting some plans into place for programming. I've probably stepped into my office about 5 times in the last month, each time either dropping off something that found its way to me that I don't need to worry about until July or retrieving something that was left in there that I need (like a favorite pen, or perhaps a picture frame). My travels will take me away from my life here for the next few weeks, proving that I was delusional upon thinking I would be proactive when I was obviously too lazy to way a few feet down the hall to my desk. I guess the idea of relaxation was just too much for the idea of working ahead to handle :)

Tiiiiiiiime is on my side, yes it is.

One of my summer experiments is attempting to swear off my watch. I’m one of those people that is hyper organized and conscious of where I’m supposed to be at what moment of every day. During the school year I am always near my planner and my Outlook calendar, constantly updating both with events from my work and personal lives. I’m trying to relax and enjoy this summer as much as possible and for me this means trying to stay relatively unscheduled and carefree. While I obviously have to plan out all my trips to here and there, the one way that I can really try and do this is by not wearing my watch.

This is not easy. I’m not sure at what age I started wearing a watch every day, but it was long enough ago that I can’t remember not being able to look at my wrist to see the time. I’ve become so dependent on it that I often freak out when I don’t know what time it is and get uneasy in places where there aren’t enough clocks (at least by my standards). I used to have cheap watches because I was so hard on them; constantly banging them against things and such. I spent so much money replacing them every few months that I decided to invest in something a bit more sturdy, and it’s been well worth it. Every few years I get a new one just because I find something very fun that I like – but every one that I own (once its battery has been replaced) still works, including one that had to be revived by a very nice jewelry store man who could see the absolute pain on my face when he couldn’t get it started again.

At first not having the watch was weird. I was constantly looking at my cell phone to see what time it was, searching out clocks in public places, etc. More quickly than I imagined, I started liking the feeling of having nothing on my wrist. I finally had to do a semi-professional event a few weeks ago and put it back on, thinking that if nothing else it might help jumpstart me back into the feeling of working, if only for a day. I was surprised to find that I didn’t like the feeling of it anymore – I didn’t like the grip of it on my wrist, didn’t like feeling its weight on my arm. I was glad to take it off at the end of the day and return to my summer world where time doesn’t matter….much.

Deep down I know that this doesn’t mean I’ll never put one on again. I think it’s sort of like having to wear “real shoes” with socks for the first time when it starts getting cold again – you hate the feeling of it and you feel suffocated at first, but it just feels right after the first few times. My crazy organized self will return when needed, but for now she’s been safely repressed to the deep corners of my brain.

"Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language."

Quote from Henry James, a 19th century American-turned-British author who I would say is probably most well known for The Portrait of a Lady, but he also wrote The American and The Europeans which might be of equal familiarity. Regardless as to how you know him, no one can deny that he definitely knew what he was talking about with summer.



Oh the lazy days of summer. I have rediscovered the joy of never setting an alarm, laying on the couch all day long, and feeling like I have the power to do anything I want. It's amazing.....mostly.

You might ask why, after so many posts over the year of looking forward to a summer off and free from responsibility I have suddenly declared that it's not completely satisfying. Well folks, I'm bored. It's only been 2 weeks, but I'm already bored with doing nothing. Now, I realize that I'm blessed with a life right now that most people would be dying to live, but my always-busy-go-go-go lifestyle has taken over and I seem to forget how to really enjoy being stagnant. Some days I am content to do nothing and other days I feel like if I don't have some sort of a project to work on I might just lose my mind. Truth be told, I haven't been bored enough to go into my office and work on things for next year, but I've thought about it and the idea gets more tantalizing with each hour that passes.

I won't be doomed to a summer of sitting in my apartment day in and day out with nothing going on. Most of my summer will actually be spent jet-setting from one place to another, it's just getting through this first part that's turned out to be....well, a bitch. I have even contemplated going on a random roadtrip to a state I've never been before because #1, I've never been and it's closer to me now than it was before, making it a much more realistic possibility; #2, I enjoy random roadtrips and I actually enjoy being alone so doing it by myself doesn't bother me; #3, I can be pretty random about life and this just seems to fit with me perfectly. The things that stop me include the fact that gas is ridiculously expensive, the weather is making me sluggish, and I can only imagine what people would say if they knew that I preferred to do this alone rather than trying to convince people to go with me.

Instead (at least for the time being) I will sit and daydream about what the rest of my summer will look like. I'm cramming in a whole lot of fun in a small amount of time, and I've been presented with the possibility of including even MORE fun in my summer - I've been invited to visit a friend whom I haven't seen in many years, a friend who lives in an incredibly fun place I've never been. The responsible side of me tells me to not try and push my luck with more trips and entertainment, but the reckless kid inside says that I'm an idiot to pass this up. I'll let the mental battle continue while I lay on the couch eating bon-bons and thinking fondly of all of you out there who still sit in your offices, hard at work :)

The Beginning of the End, Part Two

It's officially all done - I've completed my first year as a new professional. All of the students are gone, my paperwork is complete, and there's an overwhelming calming feeling that's come over me. As I walk the halls and look at the plain doors I think about the students that used to live there, and how next year will bring a brand new crew into the building. As much as I complained at times about the noise and the immaturity, they were a good group. We survived without any major issues (to my utter delight, although this convinces me that next year will be horrid), my staff all bonded and became friends with one another (no mutiny occurred!), and I learned an entire new University system in a whole new place.

Through the year I've learned a few pearls of wisdom that should be passed along to those of you who have just completed your degrees and are anxious to get started with a new job:
- Change can be incredibly difficult to handle, but try to remain open minded and you'll be surprised at who you'll meet and what you'll learn.
- Students will constantly try and test you, especially when they think that you're ALSO a student and will therefore let them do what they want.
- Being a new supervisor is a HUGE challenge. Realize that with supervision comes delegation - you no longer have to do everything yourself. Trust in your staff and you will learn right along with them. Be prepared to work with a staff that might be completely different from who you are. Inheriting a staff means that someone who was quite possibly VERY different from you made the hiring decisions. Some staff members will challenge you because they want to show the new guy or girl everything they know, others will just want to show off their leadership abilities and not really know how. Accept this advice/guidance with a grain of salt and know that ultimately what YOU decide is what matters - you are still their boss in the end.
- Maintaining work/life balance is much easier when you don't have school thrown in there as well. Also helpful is having colleagues who are willing to put you in check when necessary. You will lose your mind if you don't take some time for yourself.
- On that same note, try and make friends with coworkers - especially those that have been there for a year or more. They will help show you the ropes of work and also know all the best student-free spots to frequent in town.
- Become involved in your department. Show that you can be a leader in whatever way you can. Form relationships with your superiors that will help you grow as a professional and develop new mentors.
- Try and get to know the graduate students in your department and help them when you can. Realize that there may be a difference between your program and theirs, but in the end you will both be in student affairs and are doing the same job.
- Never underestimate the power of swearing in front of students. It sounds ridiculous, but by showing that you're a "real" person students will actually start to respect you a bit more. Being able to throw around "asshole" and "shit" can give you some street cred that you'll gain no other way.

In the next few months I plan on worrying about no one but myself (a feeling that's escaped me since AUGUST) and loosening the connection that I have with my cell phone (I actually have the ability to turn my phone off now, or leaving it on silent ALL DAY). I want to enjoy a student-free town, take some random vacation trips, and return ready to have a fantastic year and feel energized.

I keep thinking back over the year and trying to identify what I learned about being a professional that was surprising to me, but I can't really think of anything. Maybe it's because I came from a very hands-on, practical based grad program (in contrast from the many theory-based programs that exist) and my careful observation of those that I worked for/with during my time as a student, but I didn't find it very difficult to try and get used to being a full-time employee; work just replaced the time that I had been spending being a student. In some ways it was EASIER than grad life, if only because I had my weekends free and didn't have to worry about juggling my assistantship, class, a second job, and my personal life. The hardest thing for me to get used to was being in residence life again. I still haven't decided if this is the aspect of student affairs that I should make my career in, but I know that I have the personality for it and the dedication.

The rejuventation process of the summer has already started. I find myself going out more, watching tv a whole lot more, and actually paying attention the cleanliness (or lack of it) in my apartment. I'll say goodbye to friends, start making new ones, and prepare for year number two. With any luck by the time training starts again I will have found my new place within the department, and a new motivation to work in student affairs.

The Beginning of the End, Part One

Silence.

I sit on my couch and there is overall silence in the building. Stage One of move-out is complete, and tomorrow the remaining folks will pack up and head out. I've taken the "you don't have to go home but you can't stay here" approach this whole week. I've done quiet rejoicing as students left, in my head I've jumped up and down as keys were returned.....and now that I'm here I'm not quite sure how I feel.

I walked through the building today and saw so many empty rooms. The hallways are still, with only the tiny noises of movement from random residents breaking through. I am thankful for an end to the year and to the worry, but with all of that comes the sadness to say goodbye.

My staff ambushed me with a card and gift yesterday, prompting me to immediately start to cry, the first time they've seen that happen. Then as they've left, I've cried again - sometimes full out crying as I hug them, sometimes just tearing up, sometimes waiting until they go to really let it all come out. My very first staff for my very first year as a professional, and now it's all over.

I am anxious to finish my paperwork and get my summer underway.....anxious to shut the cover on this year and know that I made it. But with this excitement comes that constant tug of melancholy, knowing that it won't ever be the same.

"But fate ordains that dearest friends must part."

Quote from Edward Young, an English poet from the 1700s. He is most known for Night Thoughts, a poem that I'll admit I've never read, but he did a great many other works as well. His quote is completely true and fitting for today.



What do you do when your coworker who has been your professional listening post and confidante decides to leave the position?

One of my downfalls (as I see it right now) is that I tend to form very important connections with people. When I meet someone that I click with it happens quickly and with ease, usually deepening before I have any control over it and I have a new friend overnight. A bond is formed and suddenly it's impossible to think about how I could have survived without this person.

The upside is that I end up with excellent friends that I am very intertwined with. They are usually fiercely loyal (as am I) and people that witness all sides of my personality and emotions.

The downside is that they are incredibly difficult to say goodbye to. I end up feeling like a part of me is being left with them, and the emotional pain I experience is awful.

So what happens when the person you've worked closely with for 9 months, shared good times and bad, and really become friends with decides to pursue other opportunities? I didn't realize that the natural turnover of residence life positions would feel like this, that I would become too close with people and stop thinking about how any of us could decide to leave by the end of the year. Perhaps I'm not cut out for residence life because of the connections that I make with people - or maybe that's part of the reason why it comes so naturally to me.

The connection that I've made with my staff hasn't been as strong as I thought it would be. Part of this is because they're my first staff, and while I'll always remember them, I was hesitant to reveal my personality to them. Despite that, when I say goodbye to them next week it will make me cry (just as I'm crying as I write this because I'm obviously just a mess at this point). As I watch my residents leave I will be satisfied and happy that the year is over, but I will be sad to know that they won't be returning to my building next year. Yes, I've helped develop them into (hopefully) mature rising sophomores who will have fond memories of their first year of college but I'm selfish and would like to continue to watch them grow.

Ugh. No one told me that the end of the year would feel like this.

"In summer, the song sings itself."

Quote from William Carlos Williams, an American poet. He's most famous for his poem "The Red Wheelbarrow" but he did a lot of good poetry.



We are almost at the end.

My staff has held their closing meetings. We're planning the check-out schedule. I've finished spring evaluations. I've met with my staff for next year. Within a few weeks the students will be gone. It's all finally coming full circle.

I find myself being the 'Rookie of the Year' (as my dad put it) and seeing incredible successes where ever I look. I am no longer intimidated by these students and my staff and it finally feels like I am considerably older than them, even if considerably is defined occasionally as only a few years. Next year I will be the leader of my section of campus, being the only full-time returning staff member. What used to frighten me now intrigues me and I can't wait to see what sorts of things will happen in 09-10.

With the nice weather and end of the year approaching the students have increasingly lost their minds. My building is loud all the time, students are outside playing ball, laying out, and acting like idiots, and you can tell that students are prowling around for their end-of-the-year fling. I can't say that I blame them and that I didn't do the same thing when I was their age, but can't they make sure they don't get in trouble in the process?

"The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to."

Quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald, an American author who is considered one of the greatest of the twentieth century. Most famous for The Great Gatsby. If you haven't read it, you should.



I am annoyed that I fell asleep on my couch ridiculously early and hauled myself to bed, only to wake up a few hours later and feel like it's morning, unable to go back to sleep. When's the last time I saw the hours of 1 and 2am for reasons that were not because I was out with friends? My plan to go to bed early and wake up early is now going to be seriously foiled because of my current insomnia. The positive is that I always have friends who are night-owls, mainly because in my younger days I used to be one. One of my old friends (we'll call him Jack) from my grad school days is still awake, as I figured, and is happily chatting to me online since neither one of us seem to be heading to bed soon. Jack's also really musically talented, and the benefit of this conversation is that I'm also going to get to hear some of stuff he's currently messing around with. A win on all parts.

Professional life has been busy with to-do lists. I have many going simultaneously, and it's fun to try and juggle between my worlds. Mostly I am working on completing things for closing and getting all the important documents squared away, but I also have those things I need to get done for my building and my staff, and my ever-growing personal to-do list (it's usually reminding me to change my shower curtain liner and I usually just ignore it). The end of the year is so near that I can taste it. How everything can be winding down already is beyond me, but it's happening whether I'm ready or not.

The end of the year is also bringing some major professional life changes. I'm watching a few more friends/colleagues than I initially thought leave our department in search of a better fit and/or better opportunities. It's hard to deal with, especially since I formed close friendships with a few people and excellent working relationships with other. Next year will definintely take some getting used to.

Meanwhile I press forward with summer plans.....and by that, I mean trying to come up with some. I'll definitely visit one of my close friends from grad school, spend some time back at home, hang out here and enjoy the peace. I made the decision awhile ago not to work this summer, and while my credit cards might wish that I was making some extra loot, my sanity is quite glad for the time off.

Random tidbit of the week.....I recently looked into a position that wasn't in higher ed that I think I would really love to do. I've thought about doing this type of thing before, but then settled on going to grad school and it was really only a fleeting thought. While I don't have intentions on applying now since I've committed to returning to my job next year, I will admit that the thought crossed my mind. And now I'm starting to wonder what else is out there beyond the higher ed realm that might interest me. That doesn't mean that I'm throwing in the towel with this profession.....it just means that I'm curious how else I can use this degree. We shall see.

ACPA Wrap-Up

The idea of posting during the conference definitely did not work out as planned. ACPA was one big huge glob of events and sessions that was over before I really stomached that it started. My thoughts about this year.....

It was definitely great to get to experience the sessions at the conference and not worry about placement. I stepped into placement once, for about a minute while I was looking for someone, and then immediately left. I was not ready to handle the measurable level of stress in that room. The sessions that I went too were mostly good; I really started thinking about a few different topics through what I learned and I got excited about a few things. Some sessions were really bad, and I was generally disappointed by how many good sessions (at least in my opinion) were stacked on top of one another.

The social aspect of the conference was amazing. My old grad school friends were there and it was great to reconnect with people and see how they're doing a year later. I met lots of new people (yay for networking!) and had what was undoubtedly WAY too much fun. What you don't know until you go is that the OTHER side of ACPA is all about socializing to the max. I got swept up into that world and here I find myself wanting to be back there. It's incredibly euphoric to be able to absolutely have fun in a new place and not worry about your staff and your building and how you're getting home (because you're either in the hotel you're staying in or right down the street).

The downside to everything is that you come back feeling incredibly wiped out. I am finally feeling a bit more normal and like I've caught up on sleep (because at ACPA you always sleep much less than you do normally - there's just too much fun to be had!). It's a hard reality to face when you walk into your office and see piles of things on your desk and a full mailbox (both in real life and the virtual world). The post-conference snap back to reality is a little too much to bear at times, and leaves you counting down the days until you get to go back.

But the best part is that my building survived! My staff had a handle on everything and nothing occurred that was beyond all repair. All my worry was for nothing, as I came back to normalcy. Spring semester moves on as I plan out closing the building and start thinking about what I want to do special for my staff before the year comes to close....

Pre-ACPA Anxiety (No quote needed)

There's planning to go to ACPA when you're a grad student.....and then planning to go to ACPA as a professional. Two VERY DIFFERENT things, as I'm learning this week. Let's chat.

Example One.....I am leaving on Saturday. It is now Thursday night and I have meetings for the first half of tomorrow and 2 events to attend tomorrow night. I just got out my suitcase today and it remains on my bed, completely empty. I have a very shady idea in my head as to what I intend to bring. Somehow I need to find the time to pack, when the grad school me would have been all packed by now minus the essentials.

Example Two....I have an incredibly large list of work related things to get done before I leave. Some I absolutely HAVE to get done, some I just really WANT to get done. Either way, there is not enough time in the day tomorrow to get everything finished before I intend on leaving my office to finish some last minute errands. The grad school me had everything completed and organized, tabbed and labeled, and ended up taking the day before the conference OFF because I was just that good.

Example Three....My apartment is an absolute disaster. There are shoes EVERYWHERE - literally in each room except the kitchen. Clothes are strewn about, my sink is full of dishes, my coffee table has a bunch of random things, my bedroom is a wreck. I really would like to clean tomorrow so I can come back to a relatively decent home, but let's not forget what Examples One and Two told you already about my to-do list. The grad school me would have already cleaned.

Example Four....I HAVE to do laundry tomorrow, especially since a few things I would like to take with me are dirty. And then I'd also be coming back to a gigantic amount of laundry, as I'd have what I already left here PLUS what I would be bringing back. The grad school me would be ironing my clothes already and placing them gently in my suitcase.

Example Five....I am more worried than I expected about leaving my building and staff for five days. I understand that this is NOT a big deal; they are adults (including the residents, despite what they make me believe certain days), they know how to do their job, they know what to do in an emergency. I'm just a little mom-like at this point and I'm having some anxiety about leaving them all alone. The grad school me didn't have these worries - I just shut the window and locked the door behind me, then dragged my stuff out of my apartment building.


The good thing is that I already have an idea for what sessions I want to see.....I already know what I'll be doing in my free time.....I already have made some plans with old friends from grad school. I might be ahead of the game in DC, but here in CollegeTown I am so far behind. My early bedtimes as of late are definitely not helping and I have a feeling that tomorrow could be a very late night. And of course instead of doing things now I am sitting here posting this, because as much as I want to get things taken care of, I still enjoy the good old feel of procrastination.

My goal is to try and blog regularly duing the conference. I did a decent job of it last year, but we'll see if I can actually pull this off.....

"I don't need to pay a therapist to give me crap. I have a roommate that does it for free.”

Quote from Calista Flockhart's character Ally McBeal from the sitcom of the same name. Remember that dancing baby? I never watched that show but even I remember that baby. Calista Flockhart dates Harrison Ford and they just got engaged, as my people.com newsfeed tells me. (What can I say - I love celebrity gossip. It's guilty pleasures like this that make my day.) Roommate conflicts are all over this place these days, and I think this is fitting - especially for today.....



Tonight I spent an hour and a half helping to mediate a roommate conflict....one that transpired because no one was communicating and everyone stopped showing respect and common courtesy. It was one of the most frustrating things to deal with and just reminded me how much of a difference there is working with traditional first year students.

This was one little roadblock in my busy week of meetings and ACPA preparations. I am SO excited to attend this conference as a professional! I've already spent some time looking at the online conference schedule and figuring out what sessions I'd like to attend. There are so many that are interesting to me, making for a busy (and long!) conference if I end up attending all of these! I've planned in some sightseeing time as well and can't wait to meet up with some of my grad school friends that are now scattered at different institutions. I'm definitely excited for the socials, especially my grad school social as I've heard that a few of my old professors will be in attendance! Definitely lots of fun to be had!

Meanwhile back in the real world I'm working on my end of the year report and keeping up to date on my budget. I'm trying to get through my training presentations and remind myself that the next month is going to FLY by. I realized that I need to start working on RA evaluations and also find the time to plan a meeting for my new staff next year so we can meet and greet.

I'm starting to try and brainstorm fantastic end-of-year activities. I've already got something in mind for my hall, but I'm hoping to do something special for my staff. I've always given them little treats along the way (just because, for birthdays, holidays, etc.) and I feel like I need to do something nice as a final send off. I'm considering cooking dinner for them, especially since a lot of them will probably run out of money on their meal plans near the end of the year. I'd also like to do something else....probably write them little notes thanking them for being a part of my first year and being fantastic. I have a few seniors who will be graduating and even though I didn't know them during their whole time here, this is an important event that needs to be recognized. I haven't quite figured out what I can do to honor this event, but I'm working on it. Something meaningful that doesn't cost a lot of money....

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Quote from Winston Churchill, British politician who was Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II. Primarily famous for his leadership skills, but also did a ton of other things during his life.



My 2 weeks of silence encompassed getting ready for spring break, closing down my hall, and then reopening it. While I definitely appreciated the time off, it was weird to be able to lounge around without a holiday occurring.

My hall is slowly filling with the sounds of students reuniting, music blaring, and people running up and down the hallways. I'm not sure I'm ready for the week to begin and start having to attend meetings, teach class, and deal with all the randomness of the life of a residence life professional. The good news is that we have 2 months left of the semester. This year has completely flown by and I'm starting to realize why some people stay for years and years in this position - it's so easy to have time just fly by and not realize what's going on. I can't believe that all my kids are about to finish up their first year of college and head home for the summer.....this has been a whirlwind experience.

One of the more fun parts of this job (at least in my opinion) is preparing for training once we return for the fall. I've always loved being a part of training, even when I was an RA and got to help out once I had been there a year. It was so odd in the beginning of the year to have to be someone who just sits and learns instead of having the ability to teach others. Now I've been assigned lots of sessions for this upcoming year, and I'm finding myself having to relearn more things than I thought. In the end I know it'll make me stronger in my position, but right now it's almost a bit of a pain in the ass. At least this will keep me busy and involved during training, and will indulge the diva inside of me - I definitely LOVE being on stage :)

I'm starting to think more and more about next year and what it will be like. I'm excited for my staff and to be able to get a lot of my opening tasks completed before the end of this year or at least over the summer. I'm already trying to think about some programming initiatives I can bring to the table and what we can do to get students excited about our community. I'm trying to do a little inner searching as well, thinking about what sort of experience I want to get out of my second year of work and how this position is preparing me for where I want to go next and what I want to do (both of which are major unknowns for me). I'm looking at some leadership opportunities within the office, hoping that I'll be able to show to everyone that I have what it takes to accomplish what I want. I think I need to really get myself in gear for these last two months and finish on a strong note so that I can look back on the not-so-great times but know that I pulled it all out in the end.

....which means less sitting around daydreaming and more action. Less being lazy and more taking initiative. Less thinking and more doing. And most importantly, much, MUCH more caffeine.

“College is like a fountain of knowledge - and the students are there to drink”

I don't know who said the above quote, but dammit if whoever it was isn't write. Read on for more details.




We are entering in what I consider the most wonderful time of year in student affairs.....conference season.

People are all atwitter about their plans; what conference they are attending, how they're getting there, and who they're going to see. Spring just carries an infectious energy to it, especially now as a new professional, because not only does conference season give you the ability to stretch your professional development abilities, it's also the time to get out of being at work :)

I got hip to conference season 2 years ago during my first year of grad school when I went to the NASPA/ACPA joint conference. It was an amazing experience and I realized that I enjoyed nothing more than being able to be around a ton of other people that love doing the same other things as me. Last year I was at ACPA as a placement candidate and that worked out incredibly well, as I managed to keep my sanity and still have fun while interviewing what felt like non-stop. This year I'm heading back to ACPA again, looking forward to going to some sessions (I didn't get to go to any last year) and also enjoying be back in DC again. I'm branching out and going to another conference a little later in the spring, but I'm presenting! Something else to add to the resume.

Meanwhile I am also looking forward to spring break and closing up my hall. Everyone in my hall has suddenly lost all sense, and alcohol is flowing freely. They are shocked when they are written up, and I suddenly get flooded with emails asking how they can appeal such a charge. With such cut-and-dry situations, I wonder what they think they can possibly appeal - not only are they underage, but they're in a dry residence hall. The only thing that minimalizes the annoyance of having to follow up with all of these students is the amusement that I get in listening to their sob stories. I don't think I have a sympathetic bone left in my body.

"I don't answer the phone. I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end."

Quote from Fred Couples, American professional golfer who has won a ton of championships/accolades/awards for being a superawesome golfer. He also apparently has the same issues as me, but more on that later in this post.....




The past few weeks have been a little emotionally hell-like.

Just when things calm down with my job and I'm finding more and more time to relax in my office and daydream about the summertime, I am hit from behind with my personal life. I find myself locked in struggle with my thoughts over my relationship, turning 25, and my friendships. I start trying to dissect every nuance of my life, trying to sequence out why things happen and how they've managed to turn me into the person I am now. I end up, in essence, driving myself to hysteria. It's a quiet and personal one until a late night conversation hits too close to home and suddenly feel like I'm standing in the rain watching a movie of what things could be like.

Another day and a clearer view of reality proves that things aren't nearly as foul as I think they are, and with a few honest talks with people I start to feel like a normal human again. Before I know it it's Thursday evening and I'm realizing that a weekend of fun and excitement with my coworkers is upon me, and in a few short weeks it will be spring break - meaning for me that I'll be able to enjoy the peace of an empty building and then the exhaustion of a whirlwind trip back to my hometown.

In the meantime I'll be fielding an unbelievably large amount of parent phone calls. Nope, not my parents (with my busy life and tendency to be bitchy when interrupted they usually leave the dialing up to me), but rather the parents of what feels like any student from my building that might be the teeniest bit unsatisfied/frustrated with basically any part of his or her college career. When I see that I have voicemail I automatically tense up and wait to hear which Mr or Mrs So-and-So I need to call back. The voicemail light taunts me, gleaming all proud as if to say, "Haha! Look at what YOU have to deal with!!". I have learned within my professional experience this year that the voicemail light is the bane of all existance, that even if it's from someone else you work with there's some pressing issue going on which is why they've called instead of just popping off an email or just trying the call again later. The voicemail light is there to add anxiety and stress to your day, causing you to rearrange your schedule so you can make time for the call-back - which will last at least 30 minutes, if not longer. The voicemail light is there to make you doubt your abilities in your job, the competency of your staff, and the tenure of your position.

I used to giggle at my assitantship supervisors when they would sigh and moan when their voicemail lights were on. I thought it was funny that such a thing could cause such immediate exhaustion and frustration. They weren't even working in residence life yet it was still a pain in the ass and something that was sure to either be utterly ridiculous, extreme anger-inducing, or (when you were lucky) just a hang-up. Now I understand and realize that perhaps karma is paying me back for all those smirks and sad faces I would make. Retribution is here, my friends. My personal emotions have waved the white flag and surrendered, allowing me full control over my thoughts once more, but the war rages on with my voicemail light with absolutely no end in sight.

“I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind”

Quote from Albert Einstein, German-born physicist whose theory of relativity put him into history. He's a winner of the Nobel Prize for Physics, an author of both scientific and non-scientific works, and his last name has become another word for 'genius'. I think he also knows what he's talking about with living in quiet solitude (or as much of that as you can get while living in a residence hall filled with students).




All around me I am starting to hear the job search buzz….whether it’s from colleagues that are getting ready to move on, grad students who are preparing to start their first search, or the bloggers of the 2009 Job Search Blog….and, believe it or not – I am jealous.

I know, I know. For as much bitching and moaning that I did last year during the process and how I couldn’t WAIT for the whole thing to be over, I am now jealous of those who get to do it again. It’s not because I hate where I am (I love it!) or that my job annoys me (I love it!), it’s just that I love having to be super organized and researching for positions.

Yes, I truly am this much of a nerd.

What got to me last year was the anxiety of what would happen if I didn’t find a job. Sure interviewing at placement was exhausting and getting those “Thanks, but no thanks” emails was heartbreaking, but the process itself was actually fun. And now I don’t have to do it, and it’s a little odd. Relaxing, but odd.

The one thing I hate is how the job search changes people. Everyone becomes edgy and irritable, with the slightest misstep becoming a huge catastrophic mistake. People who have been your friends suddenly start to pull away - in part because their time is consumed by the job search and also because they stop caring. Not about you....necessarily. They stop caring about the job and the institution and in their minds they have already clocked out and moved on. It's heartbreaking to watch and even worse to actually live. [Job searchers, please keep this in mind as you embark on this journey.]

Today has been peaceful, something I was seeking after this past week and something that I need to get me through the next. The building has been fairly silent (I directly attribute this to a lack of sports on TV this afternoon) and I've been able to wander my apartment doing random things that please me. I need this type of weekend to restore my sanity from the avalanche of roommate conflicts and problems within my building, as they will all hit me right in the face on Monday when I step into my office.

"The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom it touches."

Above quote from e.e. cummings, an American poet from the 20th century who is perhaps most famous for his lack of capitalization, punctuation, and attention to sentence detail. I think he was amazing, and part of the influence on me and my poetry-writing style.



Ahh, the snow day. A simple event that can instantly strike fear in the hearts and minds of any residence life professional. An event that many of us are dealing with these days, and something that always proves to be interesting and keep you on your toes. It's not just about the college/university shutting down, it's about cancelling huge events that have been planned for months, students going crazy in the building and coming up with new (and often dangerous) ways to amuse themselves, and trying rearrange your schedule to accomodate the new appointments that will creep up because of it.

I have spent my snow day working (albeit minimally) and watching House. I'm refusing to leave my apartment and have been digging through my pantry trying to find something that I can assemble together that might resemble a meal. I've yelled at students and watched other people yell at students. I see students wandering around outside in SHORTS (forget about the cold - there's a lot of snow out there!). I truly believe that when these things happen students lose all sense and wits and turn into animals. Today has only reinforced this.

I'm hoping for a calm evening and that tomorrow will see a return to normalcy. It's too snowy to go outside and cause a ruckus, right?

"On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord."

Above quote from President Barack Obama's inauguration speech today. Read on for more info.



One of the things I love most about my job is the total autonomy that I have. Not only do I manage my own building, making my own decisions, and create my own standards for my staff, but I also have complete reign over my schedule and my time. It's this sort of thing that allowed me to take off a decent part of the day to sit in front of my TV and watch CNN as they gave me incredible coverage of the inauguration of President Obama. In fact, I'm STILL watching it; now I'm seeing all the balls and the dances and thinking about how incredible those parties must be.

I realized the other day that I can remember watching the inauguration of the last few 4 year increments. Part of me wonders if I remember seeing a recap on the evening news or actually watching them in real time.....shouldn't I have been in school? Did I manage to convince my mom to let me stay home? I'm not really sure, but I have vivid memories of watching President Clinton take oath (the first time, I think) and I would've been fairly young at the time. I remember lots of his campaign against then President Bush Sr. and Ross Perot; I even remember watching the debates. While politics has been a part of growing up for me (I remember campaigning for my school levys to be passed and constantly aware of what was going on in the world) it seems to have been fallen by the wayside. Today as I watched all of this I decided that I should become a more politically minded individual and get a better grasp on the hot topics of the day. Since I feel like I'll officially become an adult when I turn 25 this spring, this seems fitting.

Anyway, I decided to check out the new http://www.whitehouse.gov that CNN kept discussing and immediately settled on the biographies of those important people of this administration. I was immediately reminded of how education-minded the Obamas and Bidens are, especially with higher education:
First Lady Michelle worked for the University of Chicago for many years, including serving as Associate Dean of Student Services and Vice President of Community and External Affairs for the medical center.
President Barack taught Constitutional Law at the University of Chicago.
Dr. Jill Biden (Mrs. Vice-President) has taught English for years at the Delaware Technical and Community College [ahhh, how my heart soars at this because of my experience at the small community college-esque campus]. She just earned her Ph.D in 2007 but that's okay because she's been busy raising her family and earning TWO master's degrees (in English and Reading). Oh, and she had on knee-high boots today. That furthers my intital thought that I LIKE her :)


All of this gives me a good feeling, especially once I browsed the agenda on Education (also available at the White House site). One of the things that made me smile was the idea that the FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) could be eliminated and replaced with a check box on your tax form. As someone who has experience working in Financial Aid (especially with assisting families with filling out this form).....well, I can't really express the amount of frustration that could be eliminated and the number of families who would probably receive aid who do not currently because of the complication of the form. Wow.

So....today has not been about work for me. It's not been about what I'm working on, what's on my list of things to do, or what's happening in my building. Today has been about what the world will look like in the next 4 years, and what we can hope to see in the future. It's about change and new beginnings, no matter where you live or who you voted for.

"There is no substitute for hard work."

Above quote comes from Thomas Edison, American businessman and inventor. Credited with the creation of many items, he is perhaps most widely known for inventing the light bulb. There also exist over 1,000 US patents in his name, as well as some scattered in Germany, France, and the UK. I think he definitely knows what's talking about in terms of hard work.




I was totally unprepared for what this semester was going to bring me. When I mentally prepared to come back, when I wrote my last post on Saturday, when I actually started back up at work in my office…..I still had no idea what this was going to look like. And wow, what a shock all of this is.

I am BURIED in work. So buried, in fact, that I have no right to actually be taking time out of my day to be writing this post. I am in between meetings with students right now, the time when I should be catching up on emails, writing recommendations, working on projects. I keep watching my Outlook show me new emails in the bottom of my screen and I am ignoring them. I keep adding more meetings to my calendar as students email me wanting face time. I keep adding more and more things to the piles on my desk (and my other chairs in the office) that I’ll get to eventually….just not right now. And over the past 4 days I’ve realized that my stress level has rocketed and there’s nothing I can do to change it….and that it’s probably ALWAYS going to be like this at the start of each semester. Holy shit – what did I sign up for?

I thought that this semester was going to be a little easier than others. I signed up to teach a class as something extra because I couldn’t imagine what I would be doing with my time otherwise. I am thrilled to get this experience, and I’m hoping I will be able to help/influence the 11 students who are currently enrolled, but I forgot how much time it takes to prep for a class even when everything is already outlined for you. I’ve been moving like a whirling dervish (as my mother would say) to get things completed in time and have a good grasp on what I’m teaching each class meeting. Now I have things to grade, assignments to explain, and more prep work ahead of me. I am excited about it, don’t get me wrong, but I definitely didn’t budget for all of this.

I have a major project I’m working on that’s sucking up most of my time. Maybe that’s not the best way to say it…..enveloping all of my time? Completely all-encompassing any time that I might have thought I may have? I keep catching little errors that just bother me and feel like it’s never going to be perfect – which for some people is no big deal, but for me is definitely a REALLY big deal. I never considered myself an actual perfectionist until I started this job and realized how many people around me do things to near-perfection, so bringing a half-assed attempt is definitely NOT acceptable. I’m making it harder on myself in hopes that the end result will be amazing….I can only hope.

And then there’s the matter of next year…..it’s time to decide where I’d like to be within our halls and try and articulate why. With rumors flying around our department, it’s hard to keep track of who is interested in working with what, and why. It’s turned into a more pensive time for me than what I was anticipating….I’ve starting thinking more and more about what I’m looking for out of my second year experience here and who I want to work with and FOR. Interesting developments within the department has made me think harder about everything, and now I’m trying to make decisions.

I am thankful that tomorrow is Friday AND it’s a 3-day weekend for me. I am hoping to be able to walk out of my office on Friday afternoon and not walk back in until Tuesday morning. Working on the weekend is definitely NOT what I want to do, but if I don’t start crossing things off on my to-do list it may be unavoidable….which means I should probably stop blogging and start working :)

"Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness."

Above quote is from Richard Carlson, an American author, psychotherapist, and motivational speaker who is most famous for writing Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (and a handful of other books related to this one) I think it's quite accurrate, and perhaps best explains that there really IS something wrong with me since I work in a field where stress is just a part of life.




There is nothing quite like returning to your job after having a glorious two week vacation. I spent my time off away from here and back in my hometown. I watched an unhealthy amount of TV, took naps nearly everyday, went out with my friends every night, and dreaded having to come back to work. I knew it was going to stink, but I didn't know just how much.

Packing up and coming back was harder than I was expecting. While I definitely missed having my own apartment and all my stuff around me and missed my friends here, I did NOT want to leave and be miles and miles from my friends and family. I cried for a portion of my trip back, which isn't surprising since crying is one of the things that I do best. I got back, unpacked, and enjoyed the fact that my building was SILENT and that I didn't need to worry about a thing.....and then the next day started.....

It's been nonstop ever since. I've been working with my staff, working with my collegues, working in my office. The committee work I do has kept me ridiculously busy since I got back, and I can expect that to continue for quite a while. Here it is, Saturday, and I'm in my office working on things so I don't have to try and balance everything on Monday when I come in. I am hopeful that tomorrow will be peaceful and have few glitches as my building reopens. I want nothing more than to sleep in and lay around all day before the week starts and I am hit with so much more to do.

My to-do list is growing as I keep remembering things that I need to work on. I'm teaching a class this semester and it starts on Monday, meaning that I should probably take a minute and develop a lesson plan for EXACTLY what is going to happen. I have student meetings already set up for the first few days, and I should probably look to see what it is I need to do during them and what I need to say. My calendar needs updated, I have papers to read through, an RA to meet with, recommendations for students need written, and oh yeah - it's about that time when I need to sit and make a final decision on whether or not I'm returning to my position next year and, if so, what community I would like to work with.

I guess I'm making this seem like I'm a lot more unhappy than what I actually am. I love to be busy (maybe not THIS busy....) and even though I get really frustrated at times, I love this job. I only wish I could've had the chance to ease back into work instead of getting tossed in the deep end - and after all, I can't even swim!!